Speedy delivery my ass.....

DHL fucking sucks,and let me explain why.

On Sunday I ordered a DVD-Recorder, (which by the way, I got a hell of a deal on) from Fry's electronic's, yadda yadda, and because the two day delivery and the normal delivery were about $2 a part, I said fuck it and got the 2 day delivery.
Ok, so, yesterday rolls around, I'm sitting home, anxiously awaiting my new DVD-Recorder, I had previously checked the website and tracking number they sent me in the confirmation e-mail, so I'm expecting it sometime between 9-5, so I kept my self busy, doing some stuff around the house, fixing this, cleaned that and decided to go out to the living room and build this new entertainment center I just bought, now mind you, I had no television on, and I'm sitting about 5 feet from my front door, perfect place to hear the dipshit knock...ya know, just in case he is real soft like and can't knock on a door hard or something....bastards...about 2 rolls around, and I'm still working on this entertainment center,I hear a pieace of paper slip though the door, figured it was probbly a flyer or something...so I took a couple minutes before I got up, when I did get up, I opened the door and low and behold, a notice from DH-HELL, telling me "Sorry, we'll try to deliver your package tommorrow" WHAT, you didn' even "TRY" to deliver it today you fucking moron's, I walked out side and looked around in hopes the stupid bastard would still be here, maybe writing in his log about how he "tried" to deliver this packgage, and was unsuccessful...yea right, my ass. no such luck. I went back inside, called the number on the slip of paper, after being on hold for 10 min, I got though to somebody at the local office here in town, told him his dipshit driver walked up to my door and just left the note, didn't knock, didn't sing, didn't do notta, the ass-hat I talked to argued with me and told me, "Well, why would he do that? then he would have the package all day, and he's a pretty big guy as well", well that last comment didn't make a dam bit of sense, I asked him, what do you mean "big guy", like when he walks the earth moves? tree's shake ? animals run in fear ? and what the FUCK does that have to do with anything ? so after my IQ dropped 5 points from listening to this idiot, I asked him, is it possible you could have "big guy" come back and give me my FUCKING PACKAGE? because you know, I wasn't supposed to miss him and all the first time right.....the voice box on the other end says, "We'll send him a note and ask him to TRY and come back today" Ok, first of all, note....as in what ? by courier pigeion ? because at least the dam bird would have knocked first before shitting on my door.... ya know, this is the 21st century, I have an idea, CALL HIM, aren't you supposed to have a fucking cellphone when you work for thease places, or at least a dam radio and a nationwide company like this, should have ONE OR THE OTHER...in his fucking van that looks like a banana with wheels, but I won't even get started on that. So, reluctantly I agreed because...well, I didn't have a car at the moment to go get my package from the depths of hell (DHL)...so that just worked out peachy.
So I went back to my work on the entertainment center because being pissed was doing nothing but killing my pack of smokes...4:06 rolls around, I had just about given up, and needed a break, went to the bathroom, just as I sat down...I know, I know TMI TMI...anyyyyyway, I hear what sounds like a "soft" knock..hmmmmmm, wasn't sure, and being stuck on the crapper and all, I decided to give it another ear shot...sure nuff, nothing...came out of the bathroom a few minutes later and checked the door, notta, opened the door, well what the fuck do you know ? ANOTHER FUCKING NOTICE...says, well, the same thing the last one said...and btw, the soft knock I heard, it was my NEIGHBOR who lives right next to me, somebody knocking on his door...so "BIG GUY" didn't knock again...but left his calling card in the form of a
"fuck you, you're not getting your box today" slip.Grrrrr, I had so many miserable and evil things to say to the jackass at the main office, I was afraid he would deliberately lose my package if I let loose on him, so I didn't for now.....

Soooo, today rolls around, now, the slip said they would "attempt"delivery today, which meant another note I guess...anyway, regardless, I came home from work, camped out on the couch and waited and waited, apparently I dozed off....for a really long time, I woke up, "OH FUCK", got up, expecting another LOVELY notice...NOPE, notta, not a scrap of paper, not even some freshly made footprints from "BIG GUY"..outside of my door...I said fuck it, I called the office preparing a long colorful speech about his courier's and the company and something about his mother was added in to it as well. Voice box tells me "oh, well, we tried TWICE yesterday, so we put your package in the research room because we couldn't get ahold of you" YOU ASSHOLE, my name and address is on the fucking package, my Contact info was on a sheet STAPLED to the box on TOP of it, did you read that ? or are you too stupid to read ? and I know this because, when I finally got the dam box today, my INFO was on the top of the BOX....MORONS.Sooooo dildo tells me, "Well, we can try tommorrow," NO NO NO NO NO, I'm not going that again. I did what I would have done yesterday had my truck been in my possesion, I got the dam address of his office and proceeded to go down there and get my package.Now, as I was standing there patiently waiting on my package to come from apparently the depths of hell, another customer was telling me almost the same exact story I just lived...so I know I'm not losing my mind, and I know that DHL sucks major camel balls. Don't use em,in fact everytime you see one of their fucking banana trucks, give em the bird. Fucking idiots.
The End...for now.